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Monday, February 16th, 2009
1:20 pm
My best friend is gone. The only thing keeping me sane around here. I am completely alone now. My apt. feels empty. He was the best cat anyone could have asked for. I'll always love you kitty bear.

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Sunday, February 15th, 2009
11:20 pm
I am terrified for kitty bear. He's dyeing and I don't think their is anything I can do to save him. I don't have the money for the treatment he needs. I'm trying to take care of him but he just won't drink and just lays around.

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Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
1:37 pm
your dead wrong

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Sunday, November 30th, 2008
1:47 pm
Days like this kill me. slowly but surely I'm dyeing from the inside out. It's about time for you to decide if you want me in your life or not.

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Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
10:29 pm
I'm not okay.

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Monday, November 17th, 2008
9:59 pm
My life is a letdown. Everything I try for. Everything I strive for, and hold dear to me fails. I've held strong for so long after all the shit I've dealt with. But This is the feather that broke the camel's back. I am a better person than most of you. I hold other peoples feelings higher than mine. Their is no such thing as karma. I am living prove.

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Thursday, November 13th, 2008
11:59 am
Noisy, un-economical, polluting and mass-consuming, mankind and tractor trailers seem to share more than a few things in common. And as simply as the wheels of commerce keep turning, many of those in positions of power are always hungry to keep progressing; spreading; growing. In many ways it would also seem that humanity and cancer share a lot in common.

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Sunday, September 14th, 2008
11:02 am
silent, you slip through the smoke-choked fray
dip, dodge, death, dismemberment
through the fog, the toxic spray,
a ghost in black
no light in back
across the city, giants lurch, hungry
this poison sprint is my daily escape

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Monday, August 25th, 2008
9:51 pm
Nothing makes me happier than having you back in my life.

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Monday, June 30th, 2008
8:55 am
I'm going there to give 'em cash, hear 'em laugh bring 'em back
If i cant tear down these walls I'll slip 'em through the cracks.
If that crack ain't big enough, I'm sick enough to get committed,
Where he's been I ain't been allowed to visit, and I miss him.
They put me in a submission hold, got him living in a hole.
Give me the rope, pull it back, cut him slack he's getting old.
This cold does nothing for his bones..he's shaking.
Always put on hold that prison phone's always taken.
They put me on a speaker but my voice is breaking up.
I'd like to think he caught bits and pieces before the gates got shut
RAISE IT UP
Somebody cover me, I'm going in, with razor cuts, and something ugly that I know within
Can't afford the luxury of exposing everything, but I've been doing the best that I can.
I take it day by day, just one step at a time, and I don't need a sobriety test to walk the line
Walking on this tightrope with arms open wide, hoping to find you live and well on the other side
So I could give you this gift as a symbol
When I felt the rope loosen, I knew i missed my window
He really did love you, you know.. pat pat..I said 'Get your fucking hand off my back'
This is my passage into adulthood and I need not
Small talk fingers fishing for my weak spot---i used to dream alot
In search for meaning in a sleepwalk
The only time I find myself having a deep talk
But now I never sleep 'cause sleep is the cousin of death
One can never rest depending on how up the drugs get
Upset, submit me to a bloodtest
Find no trace of my words reverting back to...wait, that wasnt what I meant
My right eye is sunrise, the left is sunset, the moonshine ain't got me drunk yet
My tongue's wet for the lunar eclipse, and when youre flat broke ain't nothing you wont do for a fix
It's a beautiful mix of Jesus-Juice from my lips
And words that are stuck so I stirred 'em up with a crucifix
And this is where I found a friend in Christ
I also found a few spikes and I decided to use them as pegs on my bike
So you could have a place to stand when I broke you out of that vice
And now im going back to rehab.
I'm going back to rehab...back to back..going back to rehab...I dont drink though
I'm going back as a dead again Christian, with a medicine prescription, Yeah I'm a friend of Bill ..let let let me in
Get me outta this
Hooked up to plugs and wires while dogs sniff for a powdered substance
In a town of judgements with glass house developments
Cookie-cutter Republicans' school-book intelligence
They aint never considered how just one rock could crack the whole facade now they confiscate slingshots
I will not meditate on the sermon
Heaven's gate is burning so we self-medicate with bourbon
While their collection plate gets turned into a purse
I've turned into a second rate person, but I'm not the first
This isnt your typical cry for help
I tried to melt, but someone stopped the trickling with a bible belt
Reminded me of tourniquets and heroin nods
Now that, that right there, that's one hell of a God
You cant match magic with an addict thats got a map and compass
In order to find a substance and matchstick that functions
A searching and fearless immoral inventory
'Til every person with a story begins to bore me
I did what i had to do to get
To the place where your face wasnt such a blurry mess
I packed all our favorite promises and words that we kept,
You werent hard to find, all it took was 13 steps.

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Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
8:31 pm
I thought it would be important to start a list of things I want to accomplish in life. I thought I would share what I've got so far.




-Work at the French Laundry in North Cali
-Live in Seattle
-Open A Restaurant and be my own boss, with Colin, and Shigga
-Travel to Spain, Brazil, Vietnam, Thailand, Japan, France, Italy, Egypt, Chile, India, Australia, Mexico, and Argentina
-Work on an Alaskan crab fishing boat
-Visit the Chris McCandless Bus in Fairbanks Alaska
-Write a book
-Gauge my ears to atleast 1 1/2 inches
-Finish full arm sleeves
-Pay off my car and sell it
-Get a Bike
-Amaze my family
-Make something of myself
-Have a peyote trip in the Deserts of Arizona
-Live on an island
-Get my cheeks pierced
-Make my dad proud
-Have my grandpa eat at my restaurant
-Have a large family thanksgiving again
-Learn to play the harmonica
-Fight Rachel Ray
-Drink a Cobra Blood Cocktail in Hanoi Vietnam
-Find Area 51
-See bigfoot
-Lose more weight
-See my friends succeed in their idea of success
-Get married
-Live on a houseboat
-Go treasure hunting
-Live on the ocean
-Have a disposable income
-Buy a 1969 chevy nova ss
-Buy my mom a house and a horse
-Have a kid or two

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Monday, April 28th, 2008
10:36 pm
I refuse to be one of the failures that springfield breeds. My life is going places. Big places. World here I come.

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Saturday, April 19th, 2008
2:08 pm - Writer's Block: Won't You Be My Neighbor?
What are your neighbors like?
nigs

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Thursday, April 17th, 2008
6:04 am
Can't sleep. Life is pretty good. Need more cash. Fuck bitches, get money. I need to find apt. I need to live.

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Sunday, April 13th, 2008
11:35 pm
A precarious foothold is the best guarantee to happiness now a days

Don't look into the mirror to find happiness
You'll only be disappointed at what you find

The last days of your youth are leaving
Just like everything else you've known in your life

The time to choose has come
The future looks futile for you

Try to live like a tumor
You can be the benign tumor, Staying put, content with where you are

Or you can be the malignent tumor, striving to survive and conquer new territory

The trouble is, you're always going to be a tumor

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Thursday, April 10th, 2008
12:45 pm
I remember once I found God
He was so happy
I found him in the card catalog at the public library
Nobody looks there anymore
Thanks to duey decimal I found him
Feasting on his manhood just to stay alive
He could have feasted off that monster for centuries
Serious, he was hung like this
You figure finding god might win you automatic entry into Hellven but no, I have to fool myself there, just like everybody else
Then I said, AH, CAN I GET THREE WISHES
"I'm not that kind of god", he said
He did teach me sign language so I wouldn't have to fog up my mirror with these long winded self-evaluations every morning
"Look at you, concave man."
You know what concave means
It means I have an innie instead of an outie
The best thing about being concave, besides having your balls look so huge and out of place, it's the midgets
They crawl inside and paint pictures on the wall
A little person died there once
That's what I mean when I mention the ghosts
I'm haunted, down there
Welcome to my world.]
It's a world where all the well endowed animals of this planet simultaneously die from a horrible case of womb envy
It's a world where Natalie Portman stalks me, and she's still 14, and it's ok, 'cause it's my world baby
It's a world where when you multiply a negative number by a negative number, you don't get a positive number, YOU GET A BIGGER NEGATIVE NUMBER
Mommies don't die, she never left me, and there's not dark sweat marks where my fucking heart should be
When I fly, it's first class bitch
All they serve is vegetarian meals on my flight
The guy on the side of me's pissed
"Excuse me. Please check the back, see if you got one with chicken in it maybe? Maybe someone could get me chicken."
"I'm sorry sir, you gotta call forty-eight hours ahead of time to get your meat meal."
He's none too pleased, so he calls me on his cellphone, to tell me about his, superbowl show!
I DON'T KNOW!
Wanna flow?
Go to go.
Toe to toe.
I don't rock polo.
He gets bombarded by all these public service announcments that let him know, "YOU SUPPORTED TERRORISM BY PAYING TAXES and driving all over the place, you could have just fucking walked down the street."
FACT!
And I laughed, all the way to the sperm banks, soccer mom
Haha, it's not my world, it's his
The big white guy in the sky
I'm stuck down here, lookin' into my foggy mirror, peering into my concave, practicing my math on all you poor aborted fetus's
Reminding myself how far away I am from God
I chopped off my dick, shoved it into my asshole, and smuggled it out of the country, FOR YOU!!!

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Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
5:14 pm - Writer's Block: "Nothing Sharpens Sight Like Envy"
What quality in your closest friend are you most envious of and why?


BIG WEINERS

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Thursday, February 14th, 2008
9:23 am
Valentines day is awesome, get over it.

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Friday, February 8th, 2008
11:58 pm
Happy=Good, i am haPPy therefore i am good.

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Friday, January 25th, 2008
11:38 am - What Do You Have To Say? - I'm A Loyal Customer
What makes you loyal to a brand?
Allover print dicks. That is all.

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